I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
