I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize