I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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