Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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