I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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