pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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