that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
