cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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