I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
