You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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