just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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