Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
