Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
