Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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