did you get engaged???
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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