do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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