He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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