we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
