***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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