i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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