we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
