ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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