just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
