Its about making memories worth repressing
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
