How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
