Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
