Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
