She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
