Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.

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(972): View more from Texas

i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

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(702): View more from Nevada

She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...

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(207): View more from Maine

I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.

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(516): View more from New York

I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.

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