whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
