a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need moral support for this bender
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
