I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
