Do vagina's smell?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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