Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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