the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
