mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
