Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
