He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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