Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
