Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
