Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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