Is it because I queefed?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
