I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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