i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
