what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
