Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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