Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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