Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
