Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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