in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I fill condoms, not promises.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
