McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
