She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
