let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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