And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
